Friday, April 27, 2007

The Incredible Edible Date

Since in Islam Mohammed can do no wrong and is the perfect example for everything, let's learn what religious legislation there is about dates.
It is against the backdrop of this Hadith that we should look at Hadiths that mention dates as part of the Prophet’s food. Lady Ayesha reports: “The Prophet never had two meals in one day unless one of them was dates.” Normally the Prophet ate dates one at a time, but some people would take two or more dates in one bite. This may not be pleasant to look at,
Remember, this is Islamic religious writings.
They would eat eagerly. The Prophet noticed that and he did not want to embarrass them. Therefore, he ate two together and told them so in order that they could do the same without feeling uneasy about it.
What a guy. Now, what is the religious teaching here?
When he ate two at a time, he said to us: ‘I have eaten two together, and you do the same.’
Them's prophecy words. Amazing. There's more...
Anas reports: “Dates were brought to the Prophet. He started to share it out as he sat close, and ate of it. His eating was fast.”
The mental image that comes to mind is that of a chain saw roaring. But wait, what are the health implications of eating too many dates?
...severe muscle cramps...dental problems consisting of severe erosion of tooth enamel...and gum disease that required surgery...acid reflux ...as well as the usual symptoms of excess sugar consumption (fatigue, sugar highs/blues, excess urination, constant thirst, etc.).
Most of all, dates are one of the oldest natural laxatives. Maybe that had something to do with another Hadith about Mohammed and dates.
I remember a story from grade school about a kid who was eating too many dates. His mother took him to see Mohammad (The Prophet, not the 7-11 cashier) and asked him to give the boy some advice. Mohammad politely asked them to come back the next day. The mother pleaded; the day-long journey on the moody donkey had been most unpleasant. But Mohammad insisted they come back the following day. After much complaining the woman finally complied.

The following day Mohammad turned to the boy and advised him ["Don't eat too many dates."]. The puzzled woman asked why they had to make the same trip twice for this simple advice? The Prophet answered "I also had too many dates yesterday and couldn't possibly preach against something I was guilty of."
This is either the prophet having embarrassing gas problems (recall buzzing chain saw), or this was a case of "Do as I say, but not as I do". Either way, the prophet is to be praised.

2 comments:

Yassine said...

Go find a job and do something with your life!

Anonymous said...

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I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as memory becomes cheaper, the possibility of uploading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I daydream about almost every day.

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