News Roundup for May 3

**Breaking News**
Remember, you heard it here first.

Geoff Hoon, the British defence secretary during the March 2003 invasion of Iraq, admitted in an interview published on Wednesday that Britain and the United States had not properly planned what would happen after the invasion.

No way. Hoon, however, offers this equally-piercing analysis.

“Given what we know now, I suppose the answer is that we should have known, but we did not know that at the time.”

Look out Drudge, Abu Yussif is in da house!

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More from the disgrace(d/ful) former Israeli Arab MK Azmi Bishara and his buddies, Hamas.

Hamas urged the world’s conscience to back the right of Bishara to return to his mother country, Palestine, because he is “the son of Palestine and not a foreign migrant who came from outside and occupied and settled in it”.

Seeing how Bishara refuses to return because Israel wants to prosecute him, it is strange why Hamas accuses Israel of not allowing him return. But this is Hamas, who dwell in an alternate reality from the rest of the world, speaking.

Finally, Hamas urged Bishara not to surrender to the Israeli will that want him to remain out of his country, and called on him to return to occupied Palestine the soonest in order to shoulder the national burden with his Palestinian brothers regardless of the consequences.

Yes, Bishara. Hamas doesn't care if you spend the rest of your life in jail. Go on, be a patriot!

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And in case you were confused, Iran's president is setting the record straight.

Iranians are faithful people who wish peace, justice and welfare for the entire mankind, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said,

Oh, then that explains their bulldozer approach to acquiring nuclear weapons. But being the peace-loving people they are, Ahmadinejad leaves us with a peace-loving threat.

Ahmadinejad reiterated that Iranians are a peace-loving nation, but meantime warned, "Those who think that they can prevent the Iranian nation from making progress and finding access to advanced science and technology through resorting to certain bodies that they themselves have created are in deep mistake."

Get the hip boots - someone is going to be "in deep mistake" soon.

[He] meanwhile stressed that his people will never give up even an iota of their rights either.

Feel the love. Group hug anyone?

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The Palestinians are keeping a nervous eye on Israeli armament.

Israeli daily Yedioth Ahronoth stated on Thursday that Israel has trebled the range of its Prego missiles to 4800 km. These new missiles also have the capability of carrying nuclear heads.

I'm no geography expert, but that definitely puts the Palestinians within range of Israeli rockets. Somebody needs to tell the brave freedom fighters they might want to behave.

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And finally...

Pakistani politics get nasty.

PPP leader Chaudhry Aitzaz Ahsan on Wednesday warned PML President Shujaat Hussain not to make baseless accusations against him.

He [Ahsan] claimed that Shujaat had used Sheikh Waqas for his “character assassination” in the National Assembly during his absence. Waqas responded that Ahsan thought of him as a child, which he was not.

No? Well, I'm glad the Daily Times cleared that up for us.