News Roundup for May 9

In Lebanon, the pro-Syrian cabinet members who resigned last year want to rejoin the government.

Six pro-Syrian Opposition cabinet ministers on Tuesday were reportedly considering rejoining Prime Minister Fouad Saniora's government as caretakers, a move aimed at curtailing the ruling majority's continuity in power.

Heaven forbid that the majority in a country have the most say in what their government does.

"We don't want the country's destinies to lie in the hands of the ruling team," the [unnamed] resigned minister said.

In other words, instead of the representative majority of the Lebanese people determining Lebanon's future (you know, self-determination), the pro-Syrian (and therefore anti-Lebanese) minority wants the control of Lebanon. Typical.

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Hamas is again warning against peace with Israel, or with anyone else for that matter.

MP Mushir Al-Masri, secretary of the Hamas parliamentary bloc in the PLC, has warned that secret meetings between PA chief Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli premier Ehud Olmert posed great dangers to the Palestine cause.

He's admitting that peace is a danger to the Palestinian cause. It makes sense because how can the Jews be driven into the sea when there is peace?

The Israelis are exploiting those meetings to beautify their image before the international community, Masri said, warning that the meetings would also provide a cover for the Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands.

Actually, the talks will result in the Palestinians acquiring huge amounts of land. But don't confuse them with the facts.

Masri rejected the allegation that such meetings are meant to discuss means of easing the siege on the Palestinian people, noting that many former meetings were held but the siege remained as is.

So they are choosing the guarantee of having a siege than the possibility of having it lifted. And all this time I believed them when they said the occupation is "brutal" and "unbearable". Silly me.

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Since Hamas opposes peace, naturally they are preparing for war.

Militant Hamas on Tuesday threatened Israel with a painful response should the Jewish state attack the Gaza Strip, a Hamas spokesperson said.

Yawn.

Hamas militants kidnapped [Gilad] Shalit 10 months ago, aiming to exchange him for Palestinian militants jailed in Israel. Shalit's abduction triggered the deadly month-long war between Israel and Hezbollah guerrillas last year.

Actually, Shalit's abduction triggered the invasion of Gaza. The two soldiers kidnapped by Hizbullah triggered the war in the north (I know how much terrorists like to take credit for all of the mayhem in the world).

Another Palestinian group, Popular Resistance Committees, warned that any Israeli operation in the Gaza Strip will "not be a field trip", according to media reports. Soldiers will return to their families "tidy, but in coffins", said Abu Abir, a spokesperson for the group.

That's big talk from people who, by the hundreds, usually end up in small pieces strewn across Gaza.

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And finally...

Iran is quickly becoming beyond parody.

The conservative head of Iran state-run television has said all homegrown drama programmes should feature scenes showing characters praying or they will be denied airtime, the ILNA news agency reported.

"In the current year, television productions that do not have prayer scenes will not be allowed to air," said Ezatollah Zarghami, who is appointed by the supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

Something tells me that, for the first time in history, people will start to look forward to the commercials.

The new directive appears to apply to drama series and television films but it is not clear whether it also includes programmes such as game shows and sitcoms.

Since game show contestants already pray heavily, there should be no problem here.

He said children's programmes should also seek to teach the young about praying, which mature Muslims are required to perform five times a day as one of the five pillars of Islam.

Not to mention Islam's sixth pillar: obligatory open hatred of Jews. More than likely Iranian television will include the Muslim version of Mickey Mouse.

No doubt that from this suicide terror will increase, since after being forced to endure this programming Iranians will be looking for an escape from this imposed hell-on-earth.